psilb:

I’m repeatedly listening to something we’ve finished recently, and writing down everything I think of, in hopes of making sense of it. Here’s some of that:

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Let us make the best of the world we’ve all screwed up.

Let us forgive ourselves for being unable to…

willambelli:

I’ve used it twice, mamma. 

(Source: logotv)

I envy these coworker relationships immensely. 

(Source: rebeccasugar)

This is my first post in a very long time. I have had a [beyond] terrible past few months and could not grasp how to reorientate myself in order to create work but mainly I was struggling with life itself. I feel like I’m new to everything and I’m 21. Lately conversations have been feeling more like my first ever encounters with socializing and menial tasks have felt like a journey towards nothing. Basically, I’ve been struggling as a human being. 

But through all of this I am growing and continuing on my journey of becoming the artist as well as the overall person I want to be. 

I have been reading and reassessing my identity as an artist. Not a woman artist, not a young artist. An artist. I’ve been thinking about the work I create and why I always create what I do. It always has the same aesthetic and the same overall connection to abstraction and landscape. I hear the same things at critiques over and over. I keep getting on this tangent about creating the work I’ll always create and I keep getting really worried that I won’t ever find my voice even though it’s already inside of my mind.

I’ve found it however. I don’t know when, I don’t know if I’ve actually always had it there staring me right in the eyes. Either way, I have it.

I was discussing with some fellow students as well as my very influential professor the idea of criticism as well as the idea of certain audiences and after the conversation, I again returned to the questions I’ve been bugging myself with: Who am I even talking to with my work? What am I even doing? 

My entire life has been one big escape plan. Whether it be escaping from certain people, situations, legal issues, alcohol problems, the everyday people of Arkansas (and elsewhere) and their inability to think deeper than what their plans are for the evening or whatever else they may think about, grocery shopping trips.. everything. I am constantly thinking about where I could go and how I could get there in order to escape whatever my surroundings may be. It’s almost as if I am never satisfied. Even when finishing a painting. I just want to run out the door and find somewhere better. 
It’s a powerful energy I have discovered inside of myself. It’s an energy that I now am aware of and will stop at nothing to harness and throw it on a surface to create work.

I want to appeal to everyone whose escaped somehow. The world is so much more of an escape route than people give it credit for. Around every corner, there is a fire escape so to speak. These fire escapes can be anything from a concert to drugs to a vacation. All of these things are not needed in order to survive, yet they exist as escape routes for everyone. They just have to take the time to discover them.

My paintings are going to be about these escape routes from now on. Through that, I hope that they themselves embody the idea of being an escape. I’m not sure everyone will be able to grasp that, and I’m not saying that I necessarily want them to. I didn’t even grasp it until I did very extensive reading, soul searching, experimenting and, most of all, thinking. Hard thinking. But I would like the subtle tug of almost nostalgia as well as serenity to be evident when my work is viewed. I’ll listen to what these people are saying to me about my work. I will. Even the things about the size of my work (which was never really a big thing for me. I’m more of a thinker than a realizer).

I’m just glad to no longer be blind to all of the things that I want to do. Turns out I’m actually not doing anything wrong. I have before, yes. But it’s better that way, don’t you think?  

Attractive Bearded men. 
attractivebeardedmen.tumblr.com 

(via attractivebeardedmen)

thethirstydude:

adventure à part

I love Adventure Time. Things like this just make my day.

(via adventuretime)

I’ve been a bit troubled. Which seems like it happens a lot. Micah said it’s because I’m 20. But I don’t think I’ll know what that means until I’m not.

Anyways, songs like the one I’ve posted always help when I’m feeling like this. Just the vibe they put out. That little “we’re all human, we all get stuck” sort of vibe. Not just from the words either. From the entirety of the song. The way it’s put together, the chord progressions.. All of it. It’s songs like this that keep me from wallowing in the fact that I’m messing up. It makes it easier to move on from the messes.

I feel like I’m comletely arted out. I mean, I didn’t have a summer break because I had art classes. So, technically, the last big break I’ve had was last Christmas break. And, now that the next one is quickly approaching, I’m kindof already giving into it. I’m ready to take a break from this new creative way of thinking. I need some… No thinking time. Just for a bit.

Anyways. Posting this is making me feel better about slacking. Mostly because putting all of this down is reminding me that I love to paint and that I will eventually get back into it. That it’s unavoidable because it’s something I love. It’s not just an obligatory action.

That’s why I love this blog. It brings me back into my art.
That is all. I hope you all had a lovely Thanksgiving.

The ball is finally rolling on the series of paintings I’ve started. Once I can elaborate further, I will. But, for now, I am going to post more poetry. 
This is mainly because the poems I am writing are directly related to the ideas I am exploring in my work. So, in a way, I am very much elaborating on the subjects and concepts at hand. 

One of them is actually dealing directly with a piece I am working on right now. (It’s the first one.)
The other is dealing with my realizations of the subject matter I have related to the most and how much it is changing my view of other aspects in my life.

Here we go.

The City This Night

All was mostly grey with faint traces of amber
as we galloped through the forest of concrete and steel.
Our wild eyes and warm insides
blurred the setting and unhinged our orbits.
We wore garments made of smoke and stripes
as we were swallowed by the city this night. 

How dare we intrude on the closed city!
After lights had been extinguished,
all affairs concluded.

Yet there we were,  the five weary travelers
acting as kings in this unfamiliar place.
We placed our hands on the cold pavement
and used our arms as legs.
There was not a single canopy
we did not dance beneath
Nor a single sculpture left unkissed.
We made love amongst the concrete giants
as we were swallowed by the city this night.

Oh, dearest companions,
coexisting on this drunken occasion, 
Do you also wish to live there again;
to always make love to statues and monuments
and to never be lonely or sober once more?


That was poem one. And two.

Birds Eye View

Just yesterday,
whilst glancing up at diamonds
she noticed that they had become strangers
to the likes of her: a twenty-something painter
depicting aerial portraits of the cities she loved. 

Her portraits told tales of adventure and love.
They featured mountains for climbing,
and ceilings for walking.
They had become her residence,
her home, her solace,
where she could dwell amongst her memoirs
without ceasing.

But when she met eyes
with those diamonds above,
she realized how much import she had bestowed on the ground. 
How had she done this so unwittingly
without as much as a farewell
to that familiar vastness above?  


And there you go. Poems by Sam. Ta ta for now.  

It’s 5:23 AM and I have just completed three paintings. But, instead of elaborating on them, I think I’ll do the opposite: elaborate on what else I’ve been up to. Just this once. 

First off, the photos posted are from an early morning photobooth session I just took part in with Marzuki, my tiny grey companion. He’s a bit of a new edition. (At VetCare, they called him Marzuki Hancock. Isn’t that the coolest?) 

Anyways, I have created something that isn’t art recently that received some appraisal. It’s a free-form poem I wrote for Creative Writing, first poem I’ve ever written ever.
I’m actually quite proud of it, so I thought I’d go ahead and post it on here. 

(Please note that the subject matter has no relevance anymore. The ideas reflected are from a few months ago.)

Dearest Enchanting Ghost

Arriving during the time of battle scars
should restrain all ambitions; halt all causes.

Yet despite all of that, we created new worlds
and we dangled our sadness from chandeliers
in those houses we built as aristocrats.
With paint on our faces, we waged war on the ordinary.
We breathed the air of gods
and bought our own cities. 
You saw magic in the grass and made me see it too. 
All encounters were beautiful and we were bursting apart.

And there is no denying that the estates we built
were full of lovely bits; though we were not expert draftsman.
This town began to stifle you in spite of my little words
and all too soon, you vanished.

 
Our discoveries are overgrown; our manors condemned-
yet my arms are still haunted by the phantom you left
Please tell me, my dearest enchanting ghost,
now dwelling among caves and mountains:
tell me you miss the time when we were giantstiptoeing through the empires we created and ruled. 

I’ve been a bit messed up of late. Really messed up. As in I haven’t really had any direction whatsoever. And it was scary. It still is. 

But my paintings are starting to take a new turn. I’m not entirely sure how yet, but I’ll know once I lock myself up with them for a while. Which has to happen soon… They’re due in less than a week.

As for the rest of my school work, I’m not doing so hot. But it’s hard to concentrate on that stuff when the important stuff is so very, very behind. I’ve been a bit lonely to go along with all of this. I have an apartment now, but it’s awful empty. Even with a couch. And a cat. 

My house is also a wreck because I’ve been putting off chores such as doing the laundry. This is mostly due to the rapist that has been sort of.. at large around these parts. I’d rather not go out at night to do it.

Also, my cat makes everything messy. The floor is almost never clean. I should probably buy a vacuum.

Anyways. My paintings will be finished by Monday. I’m feeling a bit strung out on thinking about stress so I’m sorry if this update is dull and monotone.

Good God, am I going to get hammered on Monday night.

Happy Halloween, bitches. And witches. Sorry for all my bitches.